Journal #10

What have you learned about your own conflict style?

I always though that my conflict style would be avoidance, but my style actually is "accommodation." This actually makes a lot more sense in my life. Emotion is very crucial in the accommodation style. I think that it is more about wanting what is best for people, which is partially the reason why I want to be in social work. My sister (a family based therapist) always told me that it is good to be "accommodating' when you are working with your clients, because that is your job. It is your job to be there for them and to "give" to them. But, because this is your career choice, you cannot have this be the way you handle your personal life. If you are giving to people at work, and then you surround yourself with people who abuse your accommodation style and "take and take and take," while giving nothing in return you are going to get burned out, lost, and feel like nobody is there for you. This is advice that I have very dearly try to take to heart, although it is very hard. My best friend always tells me to "stand up for myself" and to not "forgive people so easily" after they hurt me. But, that is how I am: I cannot stay mad at someone, especially someone I care about, for long periods of time. But, I also realize that some people take advantage of this and use me to vent to and basically be their "counselor," but never return the favor.