Journal number 7
Think about how your own conflicts escalate. What factors contribute to escalation? How do you contribute to escalation? Do you just hate it or is it ever fun?

My conflicts always escalate in a different way but most of the times when the other party really hurts me or I think I am not taken seriously or misunderstood and I just can’t make the other side convince that I am taking that serious and want to be treated like it. These are the factors which contribute to my personal escalation. If the escalation starts from the other party I try to stay calm at first and make the other party understand that I want to talk this trough without hurting anybody because that is never my intention. I am more likely a calm person who almost never freaks out and can hold her tempter.
I would not say that I have escalations because sometimes it is needed to make process in a conflict and therefore I am glad when it comes up and we are finally able to solve the problem. Sometimes it is not very enjoyable during the escalation but as long as the outcome is acceptable for both sides I am glad I went into it because afterward do both sides feel better.
Tjorven


Journal 8
So how do your conflicts end? What do you do that you think contributes to their ending? What about in the world around you... what do you notice about how conflicts end?
I would say that almost all my conflicts end in a positive way. I may not get the outcome or may not have reached the entire goal I was going for but I was able to settle something which is satisfying for both parties. This is more important to me than reaching the goal I had when I entered the conflict because the other party is almost all the time either a friend, a family member or someone I care in general and therefore their goals, needs and ideas are important to me and I am willing to make compromises in order to make both parties happy.
I would say that a main part for this ending is the carrying about the other party. If you are not only interested in getting your own goals through no matter if it will make the other party suffer or not the outcome is more likely not to be too positive and most of the times for both parties.
However, not everyone thinks like me and thinks that a good outcome of a conflict is if you have find a great compromise for both parties most people just want to get their needs be taken of and that is not a very tolerate and nice way to treat other people and parties. Moreover is the outcome very often not satisfaction. These conflicts most of the time never end because they just can not find a compromise and therefore go on and on with their fighting over a problem and if they end the conflict they will be more likely not be friends afterwards and don’t appreciate any longer.
Tjorven