Journal Seven

I think the way in which my conflicts escalate most is by people not owning their mistakes. I think this could be the “saving face” tactic we talked about in class. I'm guilty of this just as much as I watch others be guilty of it. When someone does something wrong, but doesn’t want to admit they've done something wrong because they don't want to deal with their own shame. It's this attempt at justification that I often see as an escalation in conflicts in my life. It makes the other person get more agitated about what they see that the other person has done wrong. I've found in my own experiences that owning your mistakes can be one of the most rewarding things to do and also often has the effect of deescalating the conflict and making the relationship stronger, as well as allowing you to grow from your mistakes and character flaws that we all have. If you honestly do feel justified in your actions, often speaking to the person and telling them how you feel about it and why you feel that your actions were necessary can be helpful instead of just saying that you don't care or that they deserved it. I think the spiral model would be most fitting for this because both sides participate and have large play in the way that the conflict escalates.