What attributes would you say describe and define your own negoatiation styles? Where did you learn to negotiate? Do you think you are any good at it?
I'm pretty sure I learned to negotiate because of having a little sister. I always knew I was going to have to share with her and work things out with her, and because she was the youngest my parents were inclined to be a bit more indulgent towards her. Also, because we were homeschooled, we didn't have a lot of friends, so if we didn't want to die of boredom it was important to learn how to work with each other so we could stay on good terms and use each other to stay entertained.
There were some things we were flat-out unable to negotiate on, like which of us was going to get to keep the stuffed lamb my parents bought her--she didn't want it at first, so I laid claim to it, and by the time she decided she wanted it back I had decided it by rights belonged to me. Other things, like who was going to get which room, for how long, and whether we should just share a room because our house creaked a lot and sleeping alone could be scary, all involved intense and successful negotiation.
(The bunny room had a door that locked, a major pro, but the ghost room had a bigger, softer bed, so every year we would negotiate whether or not a switch was going to occur.)
Anyway, the result is that I think I'm pretty good at negotiating when I decide that it is worth my time and the effort it takes to negotiate; sometimes I don't actually care about the situation very much, and then I am more likely to demand that I get my way and not actually show much willingness to cooperate. Basically, my style is cooperative/collaborative if I'm invested in the situation or the person with whom I'm negotiating, but if I don't care that much about the thing over which I'm negotiating or the person, then I sort of run roughshod and more competitively.
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